I wrote yesterday about the double bind. Today, I’m writing about what gets us (me) out of the double bind: intuition.
This is a photo of a place I knew I intuitively needed to be. Months ago–before this space even looked this nice–I knew I needed to be here. I knew I wanted and needed to be a part of this space and what was happening here.
When I have an intuitive experience, it’s as if everything inside of me says, “YES.” It’s a cosmic hum, an expansive, a-temporal YES that seeps through me. It’s the experience of having something resonate. What is it like for you? Something kind of like that? Something different?
On the one hand, it’s very easy to trust this expansive, a-temporal YES. It’s very easy to recognize my intuition and to go with it. Trusting my inner wisdom feels safe. Noticing when something resonates with us just feels good!
On the other hand….what the hell are we supposed to do with our intuition? How do we take this “feeling” inside of us, this great cosmic hum, and do anything? How we do conduct our day-to-day affairs in light of what we intuitively “know”? If I “know,” I’m supposed to be in this space, then how do I earn the money to be in this space and make everything turn out all nice and tidy?
Well, that is certainly enough rhetorical questions for one evening.
I finally got it. Loud and clear. Not sure if you’re reading this (you know who you are, J), but I think I finally got it about the double bind.
In my professional life–where I do a lot coaching and facilitating–the metaphor of the rubber band has been invaluable in illustrating change. I frequently tell clients to “stretch the rubber band.” When you stretch a rubber band–stretch and stretch it–and then, gently, let it go, what happens? Does the rubber band conform to its old tight shape? No. True, it more or less goes back to an oval shape–we can still recognize it as a rubber band–but it’s a much more stretched out version of its old self. Recognizable, but with more give, more space, more options.
So it is with change. Sometimes, we really need to stretch and exaggerate a new way of doing something in order for the new behavior to stick–that is, in order for there to be room for the new behavior when we go back to our old way of being.
That’s one way of looking at a rubber band.
There’s another way, one that I’ve been stuck on. Sometimes we can get all tangled up with other peoples’ expectations (and our assumptions about their expectations) that we are pretty much bound and gagged when it comes to doing what’s important to us. My anxiety has been fueling me to jump and reach for every possible opportunity, ignoring the voice of my intuition, saying, “this isn’t the right opportunity.” Tonight, I took a step toward listening more to my intuition and trusting that the right opportunity will show up.
And that’s all I’m going to say about that.